To Gnome or Not to Gnome

I received my first gnome about one month ago. My sister was very happy to present me with a New Orleans Saints gnome. He survived the flight from Dallas, Texas to Portland, Oregon and a five hour drive from Portland to Medford, Oregon. He know resides on the porch right next to my front door. A week ago I found him missing an arm. Was this football player attacking my house? Better yet, my dogs or our friends? You do know that gnomes are plotting to take over the world and our homes. We must unite and protect ourselves from them.

If gnomes are out to take over, then how do you protect yourselves from them? Do you stock up on more gnomes with different colored hats like the gnomes in Gnome-O and Juliette? Do you buy other lawn animals to guard your house? How about Constantine wire around the perimeter of your house? Which ever means you choose it is sure to help you. I’ve bought gnomes with different colored hats and have two big German Shepherds to protect my home. I’m hoping for a war between the red and blue hats. I will be hiding my garden tools and wheelbarrow as gnomes like to steal and use these items to plot their take over.

As my newly formed gnome family starts to live together in the garden we’ll see if the rumors are true. I’ll be watching for missing tools, footprints in the mud, position changes in the garden, and whatever else may occur. I’ll keep you updated. If you don’t hear from me again,then you know the gnomes have captured me and are torturing me.

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